Every Tuesday morning I take Abby to a gymnastics class at our local YMCA. I've decided to run on the treadmill while she is at class. I am thankful that I can take Micah and put him in the child watch for about an hour. When I first took her I found myself complaining... as usual. But today I received a different perspective... What I do with my time and I mean every minute of the day should not be about me. "How can I benefit" and "I should get the best since I am paying for it". My complaining list just went on and on... I am not sure why I have been so challenged lately on this part of my life but wondering if there is something God truly wants me to learn. As I walked around the Y doing my thing, I began to see through totally different eyes. Like I put on someones glasses and had to squint my eyes a little. I saw what I think Jesus sees all the time. That is people that are so lost and confused that they don't even know where to turn. People that literally have nothing but try to live like they do. I have to be honest... I am not sure I want to see this way all the time... After a few minutes my heart began to get so heavy. I don't know where this is going to lead me and what God wants me to do but I was brought to these verses:
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."
Monday, March 09, 2009
Is it possible or just a far off goal that can't be achieved? Today was one of those days where I could have complained all day!!! But every time I came to that point, for some reason I was reminded of the simple blessings in my life. In the past year God has done so much in my life! I have been seriously been overwhelmed. When we moved back to NY, I guess "my plans" were so different that what God had planned. I look at my relationships, the birth of a SON, the purchase of a HOUSE, and being a stay at home mom and realize none of this was in my plan. Except for the house thing... that was definitely in MY plan! I am simply overwhelmed.
I think that is why I have come to the point where my complaining just seems so silly! I want my life and what comes from my heart to TRULY reflect the heart of God. He is stirring something deep within me.